One of the biggest misconceptions I’ve ever believed is that my sensuality/sexuality is only limited to my bedroom; that there isn’t any room (or relevance) for those things to be expressed anywhere else.
So I kept them separate. I locked away my wanton seductress side & let it lie dormant during the daytime, only to have it awaken during the evening where I then released my desires & gave them attention. In doing this, I was indirectly telling myself that my sensuality/sexuality was only meant to come out not only in my bedroom but at night, where the carnal activities between my lover & I were most likely to happen.
I didn’t realize the depths of my unintended suppression until I had sex, randomly, in the afternoon in the middle of my studio apartment.
On the one hand, my mind was scrambling; it was as though it couldn’t compute my decision to break the rules, & therefore became quite confused. I could feel myself trying to get out of it (‘it’ being the sumptuous, hot sex I was rearing to have): No, my mind was saying, we’re not in the bedroom! It’s two o’clock in the afternoon! Your sexual prowess isn’t due to be let out for another seven hours!
Protesting. Hesitation. Haranguing. Second thoughts.
On the other hand… as I was peeling off my clothes in a fury of lust, I was utterly enjoying myself. Hormones were raging. Bodies were colliding into each other. The moment was being seized, & my body was taking it all in. Yes, it seemed to express;Oh, yes. This is heavenly.
Temptation. Voluptuousness. Delicious lack of self control. Heart fluttering.
The pleasure of the present got so overwhelming that I found myself telling my brain to shut its mouth.
A peculiar thing happens when you let your sensuality do the talking, walking, breathing: You immerse yourself fully in life. You dive deeply into pleasure. You muster the courage to be audacious. You are beautifully alive.
This, if you need to be reminded, is the way life is supposed to be lived.
This post is not just a lesson in letting your sensuality/sexuality peek through the activities you busy yourself with throughout the day. It is also a reminder to remain ever present within your world, your body, your urges. It is a nudge for you to not suppress your desires, but to let them trickle out of you as naturally as they formed.
Allow yourself the privilege of living out your sensuality/sexuality in your daily life, not just in the bedroom but in the way you bag your groceries, in the way you shower, in the way you walk to the mailbox, in the way you go for your evening run. Never forget that you ARE sensuality/sexuality; you were born from it, so embody it.
